>I’m late with Cleo and Dante’s book, the last book in the Order of the Sicari series. And not by just a few days, but more than two weeks. When my back went out on me in February and I was on heavy duty muscle relaxers, I couldn’t’ write. So I fell behind on the Pleasure Me and was forced to turn the book in late. That left me only four months to write a book. It takes me longer than that, and I was incredibly stressed about the book. I kept second guessing myself, I was having trouble with the characters, not really sure I knew what I was doing. It was a mess for three months as I tried to figure out the story line.
Finally, just when I was getting my act together, the real deadline for Dante’s book loomed on the horizon. I t was like looking at a train barreling straight for me while I’m tied to the railroad tracks. Worse still, Dante was acting like a damn prima donna who just wasn’t in the mood to save my sorry ass like Dudley Do Right. This only increased the stress, and I panicked. I wasn’t able to write anything. Writing a page in one day was excruciating. Finally I just sort of gave up thinking I could do this and when I let go, it seemed like something gave way inside and I was able to write again.
Face Your Fear
This business isn’t for those who run from hard word, stress, or fear. You have to look fear in the eye and then spit in its face. You have to shout that fear down and say I WILL FINISH this book, and damn you MUSE, you will not stop me.
Of course, the minute I said that, my editor asked if I wanted to blog on the Penguin Blog. Like I’m gonna say no?? As if! So I agree and the deadline is in less than seven days. I’m thinking. Okay, I can do this. I can write 2-3 blog posts AND finish the book.
Then today happened. I got edits for Pleasure Me in the good old inbox. My stomach started to churn, but I managed to calm down some. Then I saw the edits are due next Thursday! Okay, BREATHE, Monica. Just Breathe. It could be worse, you could be planning a HUGE author blog fest in Jan and Feb with almost 40 authors. Oh, but wait! I AM planning that event!!
I keep reminding myself of a wise mentor who told me things would be different once I landed a contract. She told me, gently, that it is much harder to write to a deadline than just writing without a contract. She was right. So I tell myself that I’m doing the best I can, and that’s all I can do. And there was something else I have to do…what was it? Oh well, it will come to me. I can only say that the Journey is a major rollercoaster of a ride!
P.S. Now I remember, Thanksgiving is in three weeks and there are are only 50 shopping days left until Christmas! *sigh*