>What To Blog, What To Blog

>Mac’s post yesterday ran in a similar vein to what I was going to write about, so I opted to shift gears. I had a number of directions I could choose to take. I could pose the question of what to say to people who slam romance OR I could talk about why I think (just guesses, no scientific theories) women read romance OR I could talk about why political speech writing can distort issues and the ethics therein involved (again only my opinion) OR I could write about how a single blog can redirect the course of history.

The Little Blog That Could

That last choice seemed pretty cool. I mean sometimes one voice can change the course of history (Adam Brickley is responsible for bringing Sarah Palin to the attention of McCain). I don’t have to agree with the history in the making, but this one voice making a diff is important. But then I thought…politics as a topic??? I’m concerned I’ll spout off my political viewpoints, and since politics is a no-win scenario when one is discussing ideologies, I shook my head thinking. Are you insane? You know what flaming is like, do you REALLY want to have two nations (thank you Stephen Colbert) crashing down on you like a brick off a 20 story building. Scratch that option.

Speech Writing Or How To Keep One’s Mouth Shut

So that left me with what—three choices? Yeah, political speech writing. THIS is really, really interesting. I mean I could extract pieces of a written speech and muse about why it might offend someone, but then I’d hear counterpoints like, well its politics, it’s supposed to be ugly. So I thought, nah, I like to keep the BP down, no point in arguing over more ideologies. I do enough of that at work, because when you work for the government, you wind up talking politics. And I’ve GOT to learn to keep my mouth shut.

Why I Read Romance

Now I’m down to two choices. Why do women read romance? Well, for me, that’s a complicated question because I don’t think there’s one singular answer. For me, I read romance because I like the HEA, and it’s an escape for me. I can forget that my bills are beginning to outweigh my paycheck, I can forget the rejection letters, I can forget that my Baby made a really bad decision and I have to punish her, I can forget the war (and I’ve had military wives email me their thanks for helping them take their minds off their loved ones fighting in the desert). So I thought yeah, I can say all of that, but what does it accomplish. After all, it’s just opinion, and my opinion in the overall scheme of things is nothing much. Just my opinion, and while it’s mine and I own it, most people don’t care. Oh sure, they might respond agreeing or disagreeing, but it doesn’t change anything because I can’t change others. Sooooo……

Top Ten Snappy Comebacks

That left me with one last option. What kind of snappy comebacks can I say to people who slam romance. I figured that in a post about comebacks, I could prove how witty I am (not) and come up with all these pithy one-liners. Natrually, I’m verbose, so I highly doubt I could do one line combacks. I mean I’d have to come up with ten suggestions like the do with David Letterman’s Top Ten List. Snappy comebacks like…

10. “Reading romance isn’t for everyone, but I fail to see your point.”

9. “You don’t read smut? That’s okay, I don’t either, but the romance books I read have heroines who could kick you a$$ from here to next Tuesday.”

8. “Of course romance is porn, women want to at least READ about what they’re not getting at home. Sheesh.”

7. “You don’t read romance? I won’t hold it against you; after all, nature does make mistakes.”

6. “You know, reading romance keeps my blood pressure down for moments like these. Dealing with Neanderthals is so stressful”

5. “Let me see if I understand your position correctly, you think romance is porn? Remind me to tell that Bible publisher to hire a new editor. We need to delete that Song of Solomon chapter.”

4. “That’s okay; intelligence is a prerequisite for reading, even when it’s romance.”

3. “Well of course you don’t read romance, honey; we didn’t send you an invitation.”

2. “Honey, it’s okay that you don’t read romance. Not everyone understands the meaning of the word reading.”

And the number one response is……

1. “I could explain it to you, but then that requires time, and since you’re a parallel biped with inactive gray matter, there just isn’t any point.”

But then I thought, nah, I can’t do that. I know I’d never say things like this to someone’s face. I Not that I wouldn’t think it, but I just don’t have it in me to be rude to someone, even when they’re a jerk. Besides I’m a professional, and when I try to get snarky, I don’t do it well, so that’s definitely unprofessional. Of course, the best thing to do is to choose one of these top tens and mentally say it while smiling brilliantly at the offensive commenter. It will make them think I’m up to something and that will bother them all the more, so it’s a win win situation.

Of course, I knew I couldn’t share any of my CHOICES (there’s an oxymoron for some political candidates) here, so I decided to just scrap the whole blog thing this week, and I’ll think of something to come up with for next week.


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About Monica Burns

A bestselling author of erotic romance, Monica Burns penned her first short romance story at the age of nine when she selected the pseudonym she uses today. From the days when she hid her stories from her sisters to her first completed full-length manuscript, she always believed in her dream despite rejections and setbacks. A workaholic wife and mother, Monica believes it’s possible for the good guy to win if they work hard enough.

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