>Who I Am Depends On What You Read

>Natalie made an excellent point this week in her post over at the Gabwagon. We’ve had some heavy duty stuff cross the blog of late. So instead, I thought I’d talk about me. The “me” few people really know.

I like to be polite. It doesn’t matter how pissed off I am at someone, I’ll still be polite to them, Of course, it’s bad karma not to forgive, but no one said anything about being stupid either, so I don’t forget. *grin*

I always apologize, sometimes even for things that others say aren’t my fault, but if I perceived the wrong doing as my responsibility then I own up to it. I imagine I go overboard on that sometimes. Primarily because despite how much I tell myself I don’t really care what people think, there’s still that inner child that wants to be accepted. So that leads into honesty.

I consider myself an honest person. If you ask my opinion, I tell you the truth, although my delivery is much better if it’s written communication. Oral communications play havoc with me because I get loud and strident in my desire to make a point. It’s not intentional, just difficult to control, but being honest brings good karma.

Honesty and ethics go hand in hand. Integrity is really important to me, and I try not to spread rumors, cut people off at the knees, or backstab people. I’m not about to say I haven’t done this type of thing. In fact, I remember a time when I sneered at another published author to someone else. It was a low life thing to do. I apologized, and the apology was accepted graciously. In the end though, karma came back to bite me in the butt in ways I didn’t expect, but I deserved what I got. Of course, I don’t know perfect people either so I suspect I’m not alone in this type of behavior. Of course, I confess to being a bitch and being snarky about things to my family, but I work very hard not to be a bitch in public or in a business setting simply because I can or because it’s somehow the trend. I’ve never been a trend-setter (is that one word or two?). But I do try to live by an ethical code and attempt to control the bad behavior dragon. Although I confess I do have a tendency to wrap myself in that particular flag. .

So let’s just say I need some ego downsizing from time to time. If there’s one thing I try to live by its ignoring all the manure people fling it my way directly or indirectly. I fail more times than I succeed. My excuse is that I’m a passionate Italian who wants to just let loose, open up that violin case and let some low life individuals have it. The fact that I don’t do something stupid like that leads into consideration.

I like to think I’m considerate of others. I have a tendency to do things like tell complete strangers I like the tie they’re wearing, or if I see a woman I think is pretty, I don’t hesitate to say they have lovely eyes, beautiful skin, etc. I pull out carts at the grocery store and hand it off to someone who’s just come up to get one themselves. I hold doors open for people without expecting a thank you in return. And I smile at people. I smile because in most cases I earn a smile in return. I’ve noticed that when I go out of my way to say something nice to someone, their faces brighten considerably and I know I’ve somehow made them feel better, which makes me feel better. It’s self-serving, but whoever said you shouldn’t be nice to yourself. Actually this is my way of avoiding chocolate maple creme candies. An item I invest a lot of dollars and hips add-ons when I’m blue.

So while you’re thinking oh geez, is she applying for sainthood, I’m not. I’m sharing a part of who I am, what I believe in so I can emphasis I fail more often than not in sticking to my ideals. And failure is something I take to heart and then to browbeat myself with it. So how do I wrap up this post? Well with a ten minute lesson in humility, that’s how. A lesson that humbled me. A lesson that I can’t teach anyone else, but maybe this link can do that for me. I think it’s self-explanatory. This particular video is a little more than an hour, but it’s an hour that you will never forget.

Childhood Dreams Long Version

Childhood Dreams Brief Outtake (about 10 minutes)


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About Monica Burns

A bestselling author of erotic romance, Monica Burns penned her first short romance story at the age of nine when she selected the pseudonym she uses today. From the days when she hid her stories from her sisters to her first completed full-length manuscript, she always believed in her dream despite rejections and setbacks. A workaholic wife and mother, Monica believes it’s possible for the good guy to win if they work hard enough.

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