>Mirror, Mirror What Costume Shall I Wear?

>Ok, It’s after one a.m., and I’m sitting here wondering if the second costume order I just placed is going to work for me. The first two I ordered, fit, but MY GOD! I wasn’t just a buxom wench, I was, according to the DH, incredibly lusty. He loved the costumes until I said, “oh, so it’s okay for me to wear this to RT convention in April where there are lots of cover models who might actually get a kick out of seeing me tumble out of this bodice and exposing my hard, pink nipples???

Amazing how quickly men change their tune when it’s not THEM doing the looking. *shaking head* So I’ve packed up the costumes for return, and I’ve ordered two different ones. Even losing weight isn’t going to solve my problem I’m afraid. All of these costumes are made for women who aren’t intimidated by showing a lot, and I do mean A LOT, of cleavage. I never minded showing just a touch. Just enough to tease, entice and seduce. BUT holy moly! I just can’t imitate J-Lo. Not even if I had her body could I imitate J-Lo.

Now that’s a pretty interesting confession from an erotic romance writer, wouldn’t you say?? Everyone seems to thing that because one writes erotic romance or erotica, the writer either has this incredible, out-of-this-world sex life. Or if one is an erotica writer, everyone assumes “anything goes” is representative of the sex du jour!

I’m here to state clearly and emphatically that it doesn’t work that way. I write romance, but it’s romantic fantasy for women. I don’t write my personal life, specifically because in reality, I’m a pretty boring person.

  • Opininated, true
  • stubborn, true
  • sometimes funny, true
  • buxom, yes
  • deviant, NO
  • wanting people to like her, of course
  • able to cope if they don’t, absolutely

So if these new costumes I ordered don’t feel comfortable when I try them on…well they’re going back and I’m going to just indulge in a nice black dress and wear my fairy wings every night as my “ode to costume.” At least those damn things don’t display my breasts in their full, alabaster glory. Nope, those fairy wings simply point downward toward the big ass I’ve developed over time.

God, can’t a girl win for losing??? *sigh*


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About Monica Burns

A bestselling author of erotic romance, Monica Burns penned her first short romance story at the age of nine when she selected the pseudonym she uses today. From the days when she hid her stories from her sisters to her first completed full-length manuscript, she always believed in her dream despite rejections and setbacks. A workaholic wife and mother, Monica believes itโ€™s possible for the good guy to win if they work hard enough.

3 thoughts on “>Mirror, Mirror What Costume Shall I Wear?

  1. >No it’s not required, but while I’m all for cutting my path, I don’t want to stand out too much at these things! LOL Besides, I do like to play dress up. In 2005, I was lucky. My brother works for a rental store and I was able to find three great costumes there for the week without paying a cent. It was terrific. But we’ve moved and that’s no longer an option. And I’m not willing to fork out $200-300 a costume for something that fits really nicely, so I’m buying the cheap stuff, but that means the sizes they say = one dress size really means it = a dress size two smaller than the one they claim. *sigh*

    But it will work out. I’ve tried to get something that’s at least flattering to this buxom body of mine, but time will tell. Oh for 16 years ago and my thin, thin body!! LOL

  2. >So…you have to wear costumes at the RT convention? I’ve never attended, so I’m dress-igno. Is it for a special event?

    I’d be hard-pressed to find something that flattered my figure — yikes. I was a witch at the kids’ harvest festival, and that suited me just fine. LOL. Sounds like you’ll be a fairy?